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When playtime feels like a chore

It doesn’t matter if you’re a par- must be present in order to be play- body is still trying to shield us from
ent, grandparent, aunt, or uncle. ful. But, that, of course, may be a bit that discomfort.
Caregivers, babysitters, and older of a challenge when we are contend- Finally, perhaps none of the
siblings aren’t necessarily immune, ing with thoughts of what we have to above applies, but your personality
either. get done in the future: Will I still have is such that playing just isn't your
No matter how much you love a job at the end of the month? or jam. Playfulness, like many quali-
and cherish the little one(s) in your How are we going to afford in-home ties—including its opposite, serious-
life, you may inwardly cringe when hospice care for Grandpa? ness—exists on a spectrum.
you hear that request: “Will you play Another reason might be that So what are we supposed to do?
with me.” diagram to depict the things you playing was always the last thing we According to Suissa, we should
Now, to be clear, you love this could be doing as opposed to playing could do after all the “important” start by knowing this: Playfulness is
child and strive to make his or her Polly Pocket or Paw Patrol. Again. chores (i.e. homework, cleaning our always in our core—and we do have
health and wellbeing your utmost First comes aversion. Then, like room) were done. But as parents the power to revive it.
priority. And it goes without saying clockwork, comes a serious case of and caregivers, it's this—times a mil- For some of us, that means break-
that you genuinely care about this the guilties: You should play…so why lion—because, now, we always have ing intergenerational patterns. For
child’s happiness. don’t you feel like it? According to things to attend to: Finish that report others, it means simply recognizing
However. Canadian parenting coach Sterna Su- for the boss, balance the checkbook, why we feel the way we do—and giv-
There’s a garden variety of “stuff” issa, there are a myriad of reasons, go grocery shopping—and then fig- ing ourselves a break about it.
that beckons: laundry, errands, lawn and those reasons have much to do ure out what’s for dinner. It never Keep this in mind the next time
mowing, etc. You may also have work with our own childhoods—and how ends. The result? Not feeling playful you’re asked to play Hot Wheels or
work to do—as in, your kitchen those experiences have spilled over actually makes sense. hair salon. Because those of us with
nook has been doubling as your of- into adulthood. Here’s how: Fourth, Suissa explains that if we experience know that the next time
fice cubicle. Not to mention the fact One reason, she says, is that if no grew up in a home in which we isn’t all that far away. The difference,
that it might not be the best time to adult would be playful with us dur- couldn't be playful because we were however, is that now we can actively
test your hamstring flexibility by get- ing our own childhood, that could navigating ways to simply survive, identify our feelings—in that mo-
ting down on the floor and diving lead to us perceiving play as child- it's quite natural that play would feel ment—and proceed accordingly.
into a sea of Legos. So, there’s that ish—or a waste of time—for an adult uncomfortable to us. And if that was And, hopefully, we’ll have some
to consider. to do. the case, our body might feel trig- fun and leave those guilty feelings be-
You could literally create a Venn Secondly, Suissa says, is that we gered by playfulness because our hind.

4 · September 2021 · The Wayne Dispatch