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What mothers really want this Mother’s Day

The cards are sweet. cure in the knowledge that we tried— baby when that flood took out our
The flowers are charming. and will never stop trying—even family’s washer and dryer. (Yes. The
And who in their right mind though we may have missed the horror.)
would decline a Sunday brunch of mark on something as important as Wouldn’t it be great if substance
pastries, pancakes, coffee, and, per- a pertinent decision or as trivial as also meant an eternal warranty on
haps, a mimosa (or two)? attempting a new recipe we found on all the appliances—technological de-
Not me. Sign me up. Pinterest. vices included!—that we couldn’t
But, as a mother, I have to admit And for the love of everything that bear to live without?
that I want more—but not in the way is holy, substance means having our So, there you have it: The ulti-
you might think. But work is work, nonetheless. attempts at self improvement meas- mate substantive Mother's Day wish-
I’m talking about less pomp and Substance might also look like ured by something other than calo- list.
circumstance and more substance. I making motherhood—as an institu- ries, a scale, or a size on a clothing Oh, the glory.
mean, sure: pomp and circumstance tion—a judgement-free zone so that tag. We want to wear the darn And while it's more likely that
makes us giddy and garners a ton of mothers in all forms are recognized bikini—stretch marks, pooch, and chocolate will be made a bona fide
likes on Facebook and Instagram. and lauded. all—without the weight of condemna- food group before all of the above
Substance, on the other hand, Not all mothers arrive at this des- tion or comparisons to an air- comes to fruition and then becomes
isn’t shiny, can’t be worn, and is not tination by way of the same path. brushed celebrity. the norm, a mother can dream.
perceptible by the taste buds. Remember: While some mothers And another thing: I just turned In the meantime, we’ll most cer-
But substance brings a lot to the carried their babies in their wombs, 45, which means that I’ve officially tainly be grateful for that brunch,
table. others found their children in the arrived at the age where I finally un- bracelet, and a thoughtful card.
Substance is the stuff of inner classroom, through adoption agen- derstand why people on game shows Ultimately, we mothers just want to
peace. It provides us moms reassur- cies, and by way of the most unlikely are so excited to win a household ap- be loved. On Mother's Day, yes, but
ance. It makes us feel good. scenarios. pliance. everyday.
Substance enables us to sleep But we are mothers all the same. I’m sure you recall Flood-a-
well at night. Substance might also look like Geddon—you know, that horrible Courtney Conover has called
Here’s how Merriam Webster de- doing away with the qualifier still flood last June that ravaged many a Wayne home since 1995. She’s a
fines substance: “a fundamental or with regard to characterizing a basement in Wayne County, many of wife and mom of two kids, and you
characteristic part or quality; ulti- mother’s appearance and/or apti- which were right here in our great can find her online at courtney-
mate reality that underlies all out- tude, as in: She had those kids years city? conover.com, where she blogs
ward manifestations and change; ago, and she still hasn’t lost all the Well, I straight-up cried like a weekly.
practical importance: MEANING, baby weight or You mean to tell me
USEFULNESS.” her kid is still taking a bottle?
So, let’s explore what substance In the words of supermodel
might look like when applied to the Paulina Porizkova, people “only use
daily lives of mothers today. the word still when they're referring
Well, for starters, it looks like put- to something they believe a person
ting an end to the rat race manufac- has lost."
tured by society that pits career Furthermore, when the time
moms against stay-at-home moms. comes for us moms to send our chil-
(Um, hello: Isn’t it high time we ac- dren off to school—and, later, out
knowledge that all mothers work?) into the world—we want the comfort
How grand would it be if everyone— of knowing that they’ll be accepted
employers, partners, and we as and included by others, despite our
women in general—was on the same children's differences or challenges.
page about a mother’s work being as Additionally, substance looks like
diverse as the shells in the sea. our husbands and partners being se-

10 · May 2022 · The Wayne Dispatch